Naruto Oneshot Lemons
by Lixie Lorn
Summary: Exactly as it says. M for reasons in the title. Contains Yaoi pairings, and lots of other undesirable stuff. Chapter 1, NaruSasu. Chapter 2, nonlemon, NarutoMenma. Filler character, uses an Ocarina
1. NaruSasu

_Yeah. Lemony mood I'm in. And I don't even like NaruSasu._

Disclaimer-I own only my sick ideas. (And my non-sick ideas, but they're not in this fic)

Random Lemons: Naruto Chapter 1-NarutoXSasuke

Bored.

Bored, bored, bored.

Naruto was bored.

Since Sasuke had come back Naruto had kind of run out of goals. Tsunade had agreed to make him the next Kage after all his recent growth, but there was a lack of missions. He couldn't even go to talk to Sakura after she'd gone missing. a few months ago.

Naruto sighed.

He looked around his apartment for something to do. But he couldn't see anything.  
Wait, there was that book he'd been given by the pervy-sage.

Well, it had to be better than nothing.

* * *

Ok, it was better than nothing.

First time he'd barely got past page 3. Too much talking.

But it got waaay better later.

Naruto decided he needed to do something about this.  
Lets see… Sakura? Missing… Ino? No way. Tenten? Too… pink.

Hmm… who was left?

Naruto sighed.

Then something hit him.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! Oiroke no Jutsu!" said Naruto.

Naruto, the real Naruto, lay down on his-well, her- bed.  
The clone positioned himself on top of her. And then thrusted in. The real Naruto started to moan, enjoying herself immensely.  
They continued for a couple of minutes like that, and a knock came at the door.

Naruto eyes widened, and he dispelled the clone and the henge. Memories came flooding back to him, and he smiled perversely.

"Naruto?" came a quiet voice.  
It was Sasuke.

Since he'd come back he had been practically silent. Yeah, he was quiet before, but he got angry so easily, but he seemed calm. Maybe he'd killed the guy he was after?

Naruto opened the door, and let him in.

"Sorry, Sasuke, I was kind of… sleeping."  
"Don't bother, Naruto, I know what you were doing."

Naruto blushed.

"I've been thinking about why I came back. I don't really have any purpose anymore… and I've been thinking about what really matters to me. I was thinking about my memories. And I realised one memory I really treasured." said Sasuke, starting slowly, but getting faster, more passionate as he spoke.

"What?" asked Naruto.

"That day in the academy, when we had the test. When we kissed." said Sasuke.

Naruto was shocked.  
"Nani!?"

"I know. That's what I thought, but I realised it's true. Naruto. I love you."

Naruto fell backwards.

"Are you kidding?" he managed to say.

"Would I kid about this, dobe?" said Sasuke, kissing Naruto properly, tenderly.

Naruto let him, thinking as hard as he could.  
He liked it too.

When he stopped, Naruto said slowly.  
"I think… I'd do anything for you, and… maybe I… love you too."

* * *

"I can't do this." said Sasuke, sadly.  
"What do you mean?" almost shouted Naruto.

The two of them were naked in Sasuke's apartment.  
"I love you and all, but… this just feels wrong…" explained Sasuke.

Naruto thought for a second.

"Oiroke no Jutsu!"

"Better, Sasuke-kun?" asked Naruto.

Sasuke smiled. Not an arrogant smile, but a satisfied, loving smile.  
"Yes."

He rolled Naruto onto her back, and pushed himself into her, kissing her deeply as he did, thrusting once, and again before he stopped kissing.  
"More…" gasped Naruto.

Sasuke did, red eyes burning as he pushed into her as hard and fast as he could.

He came quickly, and Naruto screamed her pleasure as she came too.

* * *

"Naruto…" said Sasuke. "I think it's your turn."  
"What d'ya mean?" asked the blonde ninja.  
"Oiroke no Jutsu." said Sasuke.

The raven Uchiha changed into a beautiful girl, long black hair, perfect body.

Naruto smiled. So did Sasuke.  
"Sharingan is useful." said the black haired girl.

Naruto pushed her onto the bed.

* * *

_Any good? Not really good lemons, but it's more the story that matters._


	2. Menma

_Just… had to happen. They were so cute. 3 ;_;  
No lemons. Menma is the character from the penultimate filler arc. He was pretty cute, very quiet, enjoyed helping people. He tidied Naruto's room for him._

Oneshot Lemons Two-Menma

Sometimes, Naruto woke up in a cold sweat. Dreams, flashes of the past already gone, the present that never was, sometimes of the futures that could one day be.  
Never long, protracted scenes. Just flashes. Snatches of conversation, a strong thought. Sometimes he felt the world from his own perspective, sometimes from another. Once, he'd seen the world from Ino's perspective. That had been an odd night.

It was worst when he'd been forced to use the youko chakra recently. The fox's essence coursed through him, giving him glimpses he had no right so see. Waking him up, sometimes in tears from the horrible things he'd seen, other times sobbing from the wonderful visions he'd lost as he awoke, but always crying.

None as bad as the time, maybe two weeks after he fought Orochimaru when he found himself in his bed, painfully aroused, eyes wet with emotion.

* * *

"_Eh, Naruto-kun." smiled the boy. "Your room got so untidy again. I had to clean it."  
"Menmaa…" groaned Naruto. "You only did that two days ago. You're so obsessive."  
The blonde ex-bandit blushed._

"_I just don't like living in a mess." he said, smiling ruefully.  
"You could always get your own place." teased Naruto.  
"I couldn't do that. After all, you saved my life." he said, another smile pulling on his lips. "I still don't know how you threw an explosive tag that accurately into the cave."_

"_I'm just that good." grinned Naruto. "Besides, your music lets me do anything."_

_Menma closed his eyes with another full smile. He opened them, his grey eyes serious.  
"Naruto, I want to thank you. You saved my life at least twice, you believed in me, you got me trusted, believed, accepted as a ninja of the leaf. You gave me my second chance, and I just want to say thank you. And… I love you."_

_Naruto leaned forwards and kissed him.  
"You've said that once a day for the last three years." he pointed out. "Even Pervy Sage got sick of it."  
Menma blushed.  
"Well… there was another reason I cleaned up. It's much healthier to do it on clean sheets…"_

* * *

Naruto awoke with a jolt, the ocarina on his table staring accusingly at him.  
Menma…

* * *

…_I'm going to angst now…_


End file.
